The new conservative meme on Larry Craig is that he's not a hypocrite. There are several varieties of this specious argument. Leading the calvacade of sophistry is the Boston Globe's Jeff Jacoby, who had a column yesterday entitled, "Is Craig really a hypocrite?" Managing to throw in the inevitable (and irrelevant) swipes against Ted Kennedy and Barney Frank, Jacoby's answer is, "no" because, "A hypocrite is one who doesn't believe the moral views he proclaims and violates them routinely in his own life." In other words, Craig can disapprove of homosexuality, gay marriage and employment non-discrimination, and not be hypocritical because his June arrest was a mere failure of will and not a reflection of something deeper. At National Review Online, Peter Wehner furthers this argument, mentioning that Thomas Jefferson, who opposed slavery, owned slaves, thus making him a hypocrite. But that "Jefferson was living a life that was at odds with his principles doesn't invalidate and shouldn't weaken the principle" of, presumably, manumission or, to follow Wehner's own analogy, heterosexuality. In other words, slavery, like homosexuality, is wrong, and just because someone is gay (or owns slaves), "doesn't invalidate and shouldn't weaken the principle." Wehner, of course, would say that being gay isn't the issue, but rather searching for anonymous sex in a bathroom. We'll preempt that defense in a moment. Liberals view conservatives caught in sex scandals as hypocrites because "the people who are hypocrites are advocating moral standards," according to the charitable (to his own side) characterization provided by Wehner. Jonah Goldberg declares, "Since most on the Left think Craig's alleged sexual liaisons are perfectly benign, they shouldn't object." Contrary to Jonah's ridiculous and unsupported claim, it's not as if the Human Rights Campaign is about to start a pro-gloryhole initiative alongside its fight to end Don't Ask, Don't Tell and pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. But reading National Review, you'd think institutionalizing Tea-room trade was part of the gay rights agenda. All of these claims have--at their intellectual root--the argument that Discovery Institute scholar David Klinghoffer made during the Ted Haggard drama, in which he compared homosexuality to Kosher Jews eating pepperoni pizza. Jacoby, Wehner and Goldberg either deliberately or naively see Craig's behavior as just a foolish and isolated incident. But Craig isn't a hypocrite for seeking anonymous sex in an airport bathroom. He's a hypocrite for (insert obligatory "allegedly") being gay and opposing gay civil rights. The airport arrest was just confirmation--albeit, pathetic and unfortunate confirmation--of the Senator's sexual orientation. Jonah writes, "One solution to the hypocrisy epidemic, of course, is to have no morals at all." Actually, the solution would be for gay politicians to stop using their power to retard gay civil rights. But the way Jonah puts it, merely being gay--not sexual assignations in a restroom--is itself immoral. To conservatives, liberals hate morality and want to undermine it everywhere. In light of a nearly endless stream of sex scandals, the GOP can always hold itself up as the party that actually believes in "morals" (i.e. opposing gay rights) while the Democrats continue to support gay rights, the degradation of the American family, abortion, and other perversions. If conservatives did not act as if being gay were in and of itself immoral, then perhaps Craig would have come out earlier in his political career and spared the country a week-long exposé of one of the seamier aspects of gay male culture. For the pitiable figure of Larry Craig, conservatives have no one to blame but themselves. --James Kirchick