As in, there is no other rational way to respond to the official warnings about the snowstorm scheduled to hit the mid-Atlantic on Friday afternoon.
The National Weather Service, whose penchant for all-caps would make a light breeze sound life-threatening, issued an alert on Thursday that read, “HEAVY SNOW AND BLOWING SNOW WILL CAUSE DANGEROUS CONDITIONS AND WILL BE A THREAT TO LIFE AND PROPERTY,” and, “DO NOT TRAVEL. IF YOU MUST TRAVEL...HAVE A WINTER SURVIVAL KIT WITH YOU.”
That ellipsis is the most frightening punctuation I’ve seen since “Jeb!”
If you’re in the market for a winter survival kit, the ones at Home Depot aren’t cheap—and they’re probably sold out anyway, if this Walmart in D.C. is any indication.
Even the Washington Post’s usually cautious Capital Weather Gang is becoming a tad hysterical.