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Hillary Clinton has the most powerful cough in the world.

Hillary’s cough is so resounding that when she does cough, it makes national news. Suddenly, everyone is concerned for her health, which is sweet, because her doctors have assured us multiple times that she really is quite healthy! When Hillary has a little tickle in her throat people are so worried that they even want to make sure that everything is ok with the water that she is drinking from. Her cough is so impressive that it starts trending hashtags.

No one notices when Donald Trump, who is two years older than Hillary and would be the oldest president ever elected, coughs, probably because his cough is so weak. While Trump’s doctor has stated that his “laboratory test results were astonishingly excellent” and his “physical strength and stamina are extraordinary” (which is all very official doctor jargon), Trump’s puny coughs don’t even register on our collective radar. It seems Trump is even starting to get jealous of the attention that Hillary’s coughs command: