The Washington Post/Getty Images

Donald Trump somehow thinks he can still win over college-educated white women.

The Washington Post reports Trump is dispatching his wife, Melania, Thursday to the all-important, much-discussed suburbs of Philadelphia, a natural habitat for that distinctive political animal likely to deny him the presidency. College-educated white women are “arguably the most crucial swing group in the electorate,” Susan Page reported in USA Today this week, “moving away from the GOP in numbers that if not reversed could imperil the party’s future.”

Melania, in her first speech since the convention plagiarism debacle, plans to talk about “the kind of First Lady she will be”—and presumably avoid addressing her husband’s rampant misogyny and alleged sexual assaults. Meanwhile, Donald’s least-despised surrogate, Ivanka, is headed to the Detroit suburbs and then New Hampshire. Maybe she can give a repeat performance of her own convention speech, in which she lied about Hillary Clinton’s childcare policies and pitched inferior ones of her own.

As the Post noted, Trump’s appeal in this last week isn’t entirely limited to white women. For his Ohio “Women’s Tour,” he’s deploying three black surrogates, part of the single most reliable Democratic voting bloc, in YouTube sensations Diamond and Silk and former Apprentice star Omarosa Manigault, best known in this campaign for saying, “Every critic, every detractor, will have to bow down to President Trump”—a message that’s sure to appeal to the fabled soccer moms.