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How Mitt Romney Won the Secret Service Primary

All hail Mitt Romney, winner of the Secret Service primary! On Wednesday, ABC News reported that Romney has begun receiving Secret Service protection. Apparently, now that he's won the Florida primary, Romney is serious enough to warrant official (taxpayer-funded!) protection. (In November, Herman Cain received Secret Service protection too, but that was because he received actual threats.) Who, exactly, determines which candidates merit protection?

If the pundit class would like to read into this news as proof that the political establishment doesn't believe in Newt Gingrich's chances, it should feel free to do so. Here's why, courtesy of the Secret Service website:

The Secretary of the Homeland Security determines who qualifies as a major candidate and when such protection should commence under the authority of Title 18, United States Code, Section 3056. This determination is made in consultation with an advisory committee comprised of the following individuals:
*     Speaker of the House
*     House Minority Whip
*     Senate Majority Leader
*     Senate Minority Leader
*     One additional member chosen by the committee

Tea Partiers, take note: John Boehner and Mitch McConnell have given up on your candidate.