1 Complete Fox News CEO Roger Ailes’ explanation as to why he gave Sarah Palin a three-year contract as a commentator: "Because ______________________"
a) I figured it was worth three million dollars to be sure we’d have the exclusive when she announced her decision about running for president in 2012.
b) I listened to Bill Kristol.
c) she was hot and got ratings.
d) I felt that what would hit America right in its sweet spot was a woman who hates the president with a terrifying intensity normally found only in psychopaths.
2 What did Sarah Palin NOT do during any of her appearances on Fox News?
a) Attack President Obama for not accepting offers for help from Scandinavian countries in cleaning up the BP oil spill, even though "the Dutch and the Norwegians, they are known for dikes and for cleaning up water" (and even though he actually accepted the help offered).
b) Refuse to attack Rush Limbaugh for calling liberals "retards" (though she’d called for White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel’s firing when he used the word "retarded") because "I’m not politically correct. I am not one to be a word police."
c) Defend her description of Paul Revere’s ride. ("He who warned, uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh, by ringin’ those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were gonna be secure and we were gonna be free, and we were gonna be armed.")
d) Announce her decision about running for president in 2012.
3 True or false? Following Sarah Palin’s first 2010 "Fox News Sunday" interview, host Chris Wallace was forced to deny that he giggled at one of her answers?
a) True, though the sound of his laugh was captured on tape.
b) False. He was forced to deny having rolled his eyes at the end of the interview, though it was captured on tape.
4 Complaining about the "lamestream media throughout our country" to Sean Hannity, Sarah Palin said, "One of the media outlets the other day just—was killing me on this one, Sean, where they had a caption across their screen that said Arizona law will make it illegal to be an illegal immigrant? Some bizarre type of headline like that where it was just this illustration that they just don’t get it." Which news channel ran the headline she was referring to?
a) Fox News.
5 How did Sarah Palin distinguish herself during her appearances on Fox News?
a) She said President Obama’s "inner circle" was comprised of "some Chicago thugs."
b) She said Massachusetts Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren has "almost confessed to her Marxist views, these views that replicate failed European countries about redistribution of wealth and, you know, all these failed policies."
c) She said that calling for a boycott of Chick-Fil-A because of its owner’s opposition to gay marriage "has a chilling effect on our First Amendment rights."
d) All of the above, plus she called House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi "a dingbat."
6 What did Sarah Palin say to Greta van Susteren to dismiss the significance of Time magazine naming President Obama its Person of the Year in 2012?
a) "You know who else was a Person of the Year was Adolf Hitler."
b) "You know who else was a Person of the Year? Joe Stalin back there during that war. And not just Joe, they also had Khrushchev, and Martin Luther King, so they obviously like Socialists. I think one year even Putin reared his head there."
c) "I think there’s some irrelevancy there, to tell you the truth. I mean, consider their list of the most influential people in the country and in the world, some who have made that list—yours truly! That ought to tell you something right there regarding the credence that we should give Time magazine and their list of people."
d) "Who cares what Time magazine thinks, right? Do you know anyone who reads it, Greta? I certainly don’t read it, and I read everything."
7 Three of these items made news from Sarah Palin’s Facebook page. Which one occurred on Fox News?
a) She defended herself against charges of encouraging the violence that led to the shooting of Gabrielle Giffords by proclaiming herself a victim of "blood libel."
b) She called on "peaceful Muslims" to "refudiate" the "Ground Zero Mosque."
c) She said "[Arizona governor] Jan Brewer has the cojones that our president does not have."
d) She attacked President Obama’s foreign policy by saying, "If he doesn’t have a ‘big stick’ to carry, maybe it’s time for him to grow one."
8 Who is Jason Easley?
a) The source for a New York magazine article about Roger Ailes who said of him, "He thinks Palin is an idiot. He thinks she’s stupid."
b) The Wonkette editor who described Sarah Palin as a "snowbilly grifter."
c) The blogger who repeatedly refers to Sarah Palin as a "morals-free braying harridan."
d) The founder of the site PoliticusUSA who mocked Sarah Palin’s efforts to spin her firing by Fox News by calling her "the 21st Century Norma Desmond. She is stuck in the past and dreaming of a comeback that will never happen."
Paul Slansky is the author of six books, among them My Bad: The Apology Anthology, The Little Quiz Book of Big Political Sex Scandals, and the New York Times bestseller The Clothes Have No Emperor: A Chronicle of the American 80s, which he has reissued as an e-book available at www.theclotheshavenoemperor.com.