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Landscape with Riffraff and Poison

This morning, libertines peer from frosted glass
because they want to learn how I triumph, so

I am going to confess this once

     and then I am going to confess it again
in different ways I won’t admit to but never mind.
This won’t be the last time
     I let the riffraff envenom my body
while they pretend to be heroic.
This won’t be the first time I faint against a building
where the weeds escape the cracks
into some kind of suffocating, mangled abandon.
Slumped against the sunlit stucco
I fail to keep my wits about me in a choke of triggers.
I down this dandelion poison because the promise
pitches a floral danger I could live inside.
I didn’t emerge well-trained into this savage vista
because all the houseplants were succulent, and,
while anyone could witness rot writ all over my blighted arrangement,
     no one stepped in.