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The Five Saddest 'Modern Love' Columns

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"A Bad Case Of Puppy Love"

June 5, 2005

Man falls in love with woman. She’s smart, she’s fun, she has a “terrific body” (he says, three times). Then he discovers he has stronger feelings for her dog. “The passion in my sex life with Ally had cooled, but I didn’t care. I had Rusty.”


After a painful divorce, a woman finds love and renewal in a surprising place: Junior Mints.


Woman tries to convince herself that the gay man she wants to date is straight. She plies him with wine, she spoons him tenderly. She’s never felt so in love. He is definitely gay.


Man loses fiancée, then his paycheck, then falls in love with—a theme emerges—a dog. "Danger licked my face as I cried, and we snuggled while watching television."


"On the third anniversary of my abortion, I found out via MySpace that my ex-boyfriend was having a baby with another woman." MySpace?