Four days after Christmas, and life has become a never-ending supercut of hoverboard fails and an endless scroll of stories about hoverboard bans (and about the intemperate celebrities who whine about said bans). But two items on Tuesday raised hoverboard news to another level.
1. Mike Tyson wiped out so hard it sounded like his knockout punch to Michael Spinks.
This has instantly became the hoverboard fail to end all hoverboard fails, if only because Tyson is either the zenith or nadir of everything he touches.
2. A priest in the Philippines reportedly has been suspended after riding a hoverboard during Mass.
It’s one thing to get busted by police for riding a hoverboard on New York City sidewalks (a law, by the way, that politicians there want to change). It’s quite another to be told by a church diocese that you have violated the “highest form of worship” by using it to “capriciously introduce something to get the attention of the people.”
Unless Donald Trump rides a hoverboard onto the debate stage next month, or the hoverboard’s inventor happens to ride off a cliff (which, to be clear, would be a tragedy), hoverboard news will wane from this moment onward—until, that is, the cost of the real hoverboard drops from $20,000 to $200.