As in, there is no other rational way to respond to the official warnings about the snowstorm scheduled to hit the mid-Atlantic on Friday afternoon.
The National Weather Service, whose penchant for all-caps would make a light breeze sound life-threatening, issued an alert on Thursday that read, “HEAVY SNOW AND BLOWING SNOW WILL CAUSE DANGEROUS CONDITIONS AND WILL BE A THREAT TO LIFE AND PROPERTY,” and, “DO NOT TRAVEL. IF YOU MUST TRAVEL...HAVE A WINTER SURVIVAL KIT WITH YOU.”
That ellipsis is the most frightening punctuation I’ve seen since “Jeb!”
If you’re in the market for a winter survival kit, the ones at Home Depot aren’t cheap—and they’re probably sold out anyway, if this Walmart in D.C. is any indication.
@nbcwashington The Walmart in NE is almost cleaned out at 9AM this morning! #Snowmaggedon2016TheSequel pic.twitter.com/G7k6WHZbiH
— NiccRu (@NiccRu) January 21, 2016
Even the Washington Post’s usually cautious Capital Weather Gang is becoming a tad hysterical.
New GFS model coming in right now absolutely crushes DC. Historic, mind-boggling snow amounts simulated. Today is day to prep.
— Capital Weather Gang (@capitalweather) January 21, 2016