And that’s still probably being too kind. “Shitshow” is maybe the best word, but even that can only scratch at the surface of ineptitude on display.
After Saturday’s Game 1, it looked like the Celtics-Hawks series could be the playoffs’ best. But then Avery Bradley, arguably the Celtics’ best player, got ruled out for the series and Kelly Olynyk, who looks like he should be playing bass in Arcade Fire but is still pretty essential to what Boston does on offense, was sidelined for Game 2. Missing these two cogs, the Celtics opened by playing the worst quarter in NBA playoff history, scoring only seven points. Things didn’t get much better for the rest of the game. Boston finished with only 72 points, shooting an atrocious 31.8 percent from the floor.
The Memphis Grizzlies, playing without their two best players, Mike Conley and Marc Gasol, have no chance to defeat the historically great San Antonio Spurs, but at the very least, they’d score more than 72 points. Things couldn’t get worse than Boston-Atlanta, right?
Wrong! So wrong. The Grizzlies scored 68 points and looked horrible and sluggish. Only two players—Zach Randolph and Tony Freaking Allen, who literally can’t shoot—were in double figures. Memphis shot a Boston-esque 32.8 percent from the floor and a “this is what happens when you start Matt Barnes” 14.7 percent from deep. Thankfully tonight’s games, which feature five very fun teams and also the Los Angeles Clippers, should be better.