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John Boehner hates Ted Cruz more than most people do. (And most people hate Ted Cruz.)


Retirement suits the former Speaker of the House, who was feeling loose at a Stanford University speaking engagement on Wednesday evening. Actually, “loose” may be underselling it—Boehner doesn’t seem to care at all what anyone thinks anymore.

Boehner was typically self-deprecating (and a little blue), telling the crowd, “You can call me boner, beaner, jackass, happy to answer to almost anything.” Boehner then sounded off on the House Freedom Caucus (“knuckleheads” and “goofballs”), Hillary Clinton (more of this curious “women card” attack), and John Kasich (lost without Boehner’s help).

But Boehner gave particularly no fucks when asked about Ted Cruz, who had announced Carly Fiorina as his running mate earlier that day. When he heard his name, Boehner reportedly “made a face” before saying Cruz was “Lucifer in the flesh.”

“I have Democrat friends and Republican friends,” Boehner continued. “I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”