Four days after Clinton semi-fainted at a 9/11 memorial, making personal health and fitness the week’s Big Political Story, both candidates released medical information on Wednesday and—surprise!—both of their doctors think that they are healthy and fit to serve as president.
Clinton released a series of documents related to her health, revealing that she currently is suffering from “mild pneumonia” and that she had a sinus infection earlier this year. Clinton still suffers from hypothyroidism and seasonal allergies but is “otherwise a healthy 67-year-old woman” who is “fit to serve” as president.
Trump’s medical information is not quite public—it will be revealed during his appearance on Dr. Oz tomorrow at 1 pm—but it’s definitely not as extensive as Clinton’s. He presented Dr. Oz—who is Dr. Nick from The Simpsons if he was rich—with a one-page summary of a recent physical. Early reports suggest that Trump’s quack doctor has also given him a clean bill of health, which is meaningless given that Trump’s doctor is a quack. That said, Trump is overweight—he’s a plus-sized linebacker at 267 pounds—and has high cholesterol, possibly because he eats garbage food.
None of this is surprising, really. While transparency should always be applauded, we were not going to get bombshells in these health disclosures. The only really meaningful thing about the health of the two major candidates is that they are both old, which means that they are not as healthy as me, a young person.