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Donald Trump is clearly mentally stable and mature enough for this job.


The New York Times reported today that the president—despite overnight-summer-camp apprehensions otherwise—is finding the White House quite to his taste. Here is Trump on the White House phones:

“These are the most beautiful phones I’ve ever used in my life,” Mr. Trump said in a telephone interview on Tuesday evening.

“The world’s most secure system,” he added, laughing. “The words just explode in the air.” What he meant was that no one was listening in and recording his words.

He has more board rooms to do important meetings than ever before! (Unfortunately, they start early now—9 a.m.—which “significantly curtails his television time.”)

“They have a lot of board rooms,” he said of the White House, an apparent reference to the Cabinet Room and the Roosevelt Room.

He can’t quite wrap his head around what a unique space the Oval Office is, and he likes to stare dreamily off in the distance in between signing environmentally disastrous pipeline executive orders.

His preference during the day is to work in the Oval Office. And to stare at it, still. So do his staff members and relatives. “I’ve had people come in, they walk in here and they just want to stare for a long period of time,” Mr. Trump said.

Staff have made sure that the pantries are stocked with his favorite snacks, which the Times reports are Lay’s potato chips and Doritos. It is very clear that Donald Trump, president of the United States, is three kids stacked in a trench coat.