Matt Yglesiasstory
In a business in which information can be the difference between life and death, D.C. police often turn to specialized databases that keep records of nicknames, tattoos and other identifying features. The nickname database has been increasingly helping investigators solve crimes, especially in neighborhoods where even best friends sometimes don't know each other's real names. "Almost everybody on the street goes by street names," said Inspector Brian Bray of the narcotics and special investigations unit. The repository has thousands of entries -- such as Fat Boy, Boo Boo, Meatball, Money Cash, Big Stupid, Butter, P-Funk, Dirt and Ed Lover.
Did I ever tell you that Mrs. McCave Had twenty-three sons and she named them all Dave? Well, she did. And that wasn't a smart thing to do. You see, when she wants one and calls out, "Yoo-Hoo! Come into the house, Dave!" she doesn't get ONE. All twenty-three Daves of hers come on the run! This makes things quite difficult at the McCaves' As you can imagine, with so many Daves. And often she wishes that, when they were born, She had named one of them Bodkin Van Horn. And one of them Hoos-Foos. And one of them Snimm. And one of them Hot-Shot. And one Sunny Jim. And one of them Shadrack. And one of them Blinkey. And one of them Stuffy. And one of them Stinkey. Another one Putt-Putt. Another one Moon Face. Another one Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face. And one of them Ziggy. And one Soggy Muff. One Buffalo Bill. And one Biffalo Buff. And one of them Sneepy. And one Weepy Weed. And one Paris Garters. And one Harris Tweed. And one of them Sir Michael Carmichael Zutt. And one of them Oliver Boliver Butt. And one of them Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate... But she didn't do it. And now it's too late.
Christopher Orr