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The well-intentioned desire of Congress to help the poor apparently will not be restrained by the rules and principles of the free market that otherwise do restrain American businesses and workers.

Apparently Congress can change the rules that otherwise affect the affairs of mankind.

And so, Mr. Speaker, I have asked my staff to draft a measure I call the Obesity Reduction and Health Promotion Act. Since congress will apparently not be restrained by the laws and principles that naturally exist, I propose that the force of gravity--by the force of Congress--be reduced by 10%.

Mr. Speaker, that will result in an immediate weight loss for every American. ... Mr. Speaker, I thank this body for the education I have received from passage of this bill. Since the basis for the use of congress's power is the same with both measures, I ask that everyone who is supporting the measure before us consider becoming an original co-sponsor of the Obesity Reduction and Health Promotion Act.
Eve Fairbanks