Bush 36,000!

Let's see ... We're wildly unpopular around the world. Our leaders have been relentlessly mocked for seemingly delusional upbeat statements like “last throes,” “mission accomplished,” and “greeted as liberators.” So who do we put in charge of improving America’s image abroad? Why, the guy who wrote the 1999 book Dow 36,000, arguing that the era’s roaring stock market would cake-walk all the way up to triple its value. Yes, the AP reports that President Bush intends to name James K. Glassman to Karen Hughes’ former job. Luckily, the America-hating masses of Pakistan probably never had the chance to follow Glassman’s cheerleading into the stock market back before the bubble burst in 2000.

--Michael Currie Schaffer