I cannot believe I initially missed this fantabulous bit of holiday madness, in which Australian staffing giant Westaff tried to bar its Santas from using the traditional "Ho, Ho, Ho" greeting in favor of a kinder, gentler, more politically sensitive "Ha, Ha, Ha." Westaff is concerned that the more deep-throated "Hos" might not only frighten kiddies but also brass off their oh-so-delicate mums because it sounds exactly like the American slang for prostitute. At least a few outraged Kris Kringles turned in their beards in disgust.  

Doesn't this whole hullabaloo make you nostalgic for Velvet Jones?

--Michelle Cottle