With all due respect to the millions of voters who will cast primary votes today, the New York Times enlisted a comedy troupe to make light of the outrageous, escalating adjectives that accompany what was once just a Tuesday in February. Some of the better ones:
Ruby Tuesday: Would guarantee high voter turnout because everyone who votes is eligible for unlimited salad bar, provided they also order an entree.
Whose Day?: All voting is call-and-response.
Tuesday-O: Harry Belafonte serenades you as you enter the voting booth, and then denounces the election as a fraud.
(This one tickled me especially: I'd say 90% of new acquaintances mangle my name into a soaring rendition of the Banana Boat Song).
Tuesducken: Voting takes place in a ballot booth tucked inside a duck that has been crammed into a turkey.
As we all fidget in hopeless anticipation of Horribly-Inconclusive-Results Wednesday, surely the TNR commenters can do better. Give it your best shot! Winner recieves Super, Duper bragging rights.