With all due respect to the millions of voters who will cast primary votes today, the New York Times enlisted a comedy troupe to make light of the outrageous, escalating adjectives that accompany what was once just a Tuesday in February. Some of the better ones:

Ruby Tuesday: Would guarantee high voter turnout because everyone who votes is eligible for unlimited salad bar, provided they also order an entree.

Whose Day?: All voting is call-and-response.

Tuesday-O: Harry Belafonte serenades you as you enter the voting booth, and then denounces the election as a fraud.

(This one tickled me especially: I'd say 90% of new acquaintances mangle my name into a soaring rendition of the Banana Boat Song).

Tuesducken: Voting takes place in a ballot booth tucked inside a duck that has been crammed into a turkey.

 As we all fidget in hopeless anticipation of Horribly-Inconclusive-Results Wednesday, surely the TNR commenters can do better. Give it your best shot! Winner recieves Super, Duper bragging rights.

--Dayo Olopade