Do you remember Madonna G. Constantine? She was the professor at Columbia University's Teachers' College who one dark morning -- or was it a bright morning? -- found a noose draped around the handle of her office door. Maybe the Ku Klux Klan had arrived in Morningside Heights. After all, there are weirder things happening at this elite campus. Actually quite scummy things. But, frankly, I don't believe that racism is a problem at what used to be King's College in the early days of the American nation.

Unless you think that Edward Said's encampment on the Hudson River, where professors teach that there was never a Jewish commonwealth in the Holy Land (what happens to Jesus in this case?) or that there were no real homosexuals in Araby until the evil "orientalists" brought the disease to the Middle East, is a fortress of bigotry. I do.

In any event, Ms. Constantine's case against the supposed noose hanger has not been resolved. Maybe there was no noose hanger at all. How dare I suggest such a thought!

But Teachers' College has now settled a case against the accuser. No, not that she hung the noose around the door knob herself, although that they may well turn out to be the case. Alas, some of the eminent professor's students and colleagues have charged her with plagiarizing their own work. She has been found guilty and "sanctioned" by school authorities. Whatever "sanctioned" means. Do you know? I sure don't.

Professor Constantine went into a rant about racism and a witch hunt. Of course.