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Stand By Your Woman?

Whenever one of these public-official-caught-with-his-pants-down scandals break, pretty much every woman in America thinks the same thing: What is wrong with you guys?

Of course, other gender-related musings surface as well. And the one on my mind this morning is, how do all these guys convince their wives to stand by them at these post-scandal news conferences? Yeah. Yeah. I know the drill: Honey, if you back me, maybe everyone really will believe this is only a "private matter" and maybe voters won't kick me to the curb and leave me with no choice but to become a two-bit amublance chaser living in some nondescript tract house in some god-awful economically depressed suburb where we have to drive 20 miles to find a decent restaurant and we'll never be able to afford the kids' private schools much less a decent country club. I mean, it worked for David Vitter and Bill Clinton, right?

Even so, how many men do you think would really do the same for their wives? Consider it: You wake up one morning to discover that the papers are awash in juicy details (and even juicier innuendo) about how you are such a loser that your woman went out looking to pay some young stud to scratch her itch. You are utterly humiliated. You want nothing more than to phone the meanest divorce lawyer in the state. Instead, you get to shower, shave, put on your special-occasion tie, and try your best to look aggreived yet supportive while standing two-steps behind your lying, cheating tramp of a wife--possibly even holding her hand--in front of God and 10,000 drooling reporters all thinking that you must be the most pitiful creature on the planet. Riiiight. That's gonna happen a lot.

For some reason, brings to mind that tongue-in-cheek Confederate Railroad song, "She Took it Like a Man":

--Michelle Cottle