So how are Hill Democrats whiling away this stressful election day? At least some staffers are watching in shock and awe as the melodrama of Congressman Vito Fossella, Republican of Staten Island, morphs from a run-of-the-mill DUI arrest into a potential sex scandal into--thanks to the lascivious nature of his home state tabs--grossly speculative rumors that the married congressman has a three-year-old love child with a retired Air Force officer. 

Bad news for the congressman: He's up for reelection this year.

Good news for the congressman: With six months until election day, he still has plenty of time to check himself into rehab, confess to his priest, smooth everything out with the wife, and declare himself a reformed sinner.

--Michelle Cottle