Not only do liberals want to take away our guns--they want us to be tormented by rats with wings:

LONDON -- Wimbledon came under fire from animal activists on Tuesday for using marksmen to shoot down dive-bombing pigeons.

The tournament employs two hawks to scare away pigeons who had become a pest swooping down on Centre Court and distracting players in the middle of tense matches.

But the hawks failed to keep the pigeons away from the players' lawn and the open-air media restaurant so marksmen were called in.

"The hawks are our first line of deterrent, and by and large they do the job," Wimbledon spokesman Johnny Perkins said.

"But unfortunately there were one or two areas where the hawks didn't deter the pigeons, so it was deemed necessary to take a harder approach," he explained.

The marksmen were summoned by Wimbledon as pigeon droppings on the restaurant tables were thought to be a health hazard.

All I can say is that my visit to Wimbledon last year would have been significantly more enjoyable had this policy been in place.

--Josh Patashnik