Riffing on Madonna's remarkable staying power, New York's Adam Sternbergh offers up this gem:

She’s proved not to be a publicity whore so much as publicity’s madam. And there’s always another ingenue to tongue, another orphan to champion, another athlete to bed. Flash forward a thousand years, and there Madonna will be, among the rubble, immortal, and shtupping Wall-E. 

--Jason Zengerle