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Blame The Duke

Michael Dukakis finally does the right thing and apologizes for being such a crappy presidential candidate, telling Katie Couric:

Look, I owe the American people an apology. If I had beaten the old man you’d of never heard of the kid and you wouldn’t be in this mess. So it’s all my fault and I feel that very, very strongly. 

I've been waiting for this for 20 years, ever since my volunteering for the Dukakis campaign as a ninth grader brought me endless abuse from my classmates at my hoity-toity, solidly Republican boys school--leading me at one point to actually get into a fist fight with a particularly obnoxious classmate*. Why, I asked at the time, was I willing to literally fight back against Republicans on Dukakis's behalf when he wasn't willing to figuratively fight for himself? But now, the Duke has come clean, and all is forgiven. I've achieved closure.

*--In fairness to this classmate, he came by his obnoxious Republican streak honestly. I recall one father's visiting day at my school when his dad ripped a shockingly loud fart. Not the least bit embarrassed, he slapped his son on the shoulder and exclaimed, "What a Mondale!"

--Jason Zengerle