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The Real Obama Scandal

I'm not sure why right-wingers have fixated on their belief that President Obama was born abroad, or somehow soaked up anti-capitalist thought from his absent Kenyan father, when the more disturbing truth is staring us in the face:

He was a pirate! He viewed commerce as something to be pillaged and looted. He views wealth in completely zero-sum terms, as something that can be accumulated only through force. No wonder he hates capitalism.

Also, he probably engaged in a lot of sodomy.