The Florida senator has had a rough few weeks, attacked from all sides for waffling on immigration. To make matters worse, Rubio had an unfortunate photo op with a shiny pair of heeled boots in early January.
Nothing like the words “Men’s High-Heeled Booties” to strike fear into the hearts of red-blooded Republican men everywhere.
While he may not be able to walk back from the comprehensive immigration reform bill he penned two years ago, Rubio can start reclaiming his masculinity. And goddamn it, that’s exactly what he’s going to do. “Rubio is radiating machismo on the campaign trail lately,” the New York Times wrote yesterday.
He has since revealed the recent purchase of a gun (the “last line of defense between ISIS and [his] family”) and doubled down on proposals to send terrorists to Guantanamo Bay. And in a new ad called “Football,” Rubio talks about his Super Bowl picks and fantasy team. According to the Times, Rubio has also said he’d appoint Tom Brady to the cabinet and deport Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski.
Rubio, who played college ball, looks like a natural tossing a pigskin around. But take one look at his top opponent, and you may understand why Rubio is worried: Donald Trump, the paragon of American machismo, is leading in the polls.