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Ronda Rousey says she contemplated suicide after losing to Holly Holm.

Six months ago, Rousey was the single most dominant athlete in his or her sport. The female MMA fighter hadn’t lost a single match, often demolishing any opponent who dared step into the cage with her in a matter of seconds. So when fighter Holly Holm in November landed a kick to the side of Rousey’s head and shattered the myth of her invincibility, she lost more than just a fight. 

“In the medical room, I was down in the corner, and I was like, ‘What am I anymore if I’m not this?’ I was literally sitting there and thinking about killing myself in that exact second,” said an emotional Rousey during an interview with Ellen Degeneres. “I’m nothing. What do I do anymore? No one gives a shit about me anymore without this.”

She may have been down, but she’s not out. Rousey is planning to return to the sport later this year with an eye on a rematch.