Giphy

Harrison Ford and Steven Spielberg will try to wash that Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull taste out of your mouth in 2019.

Disney announced this morning that a fifth Indiana Jones movie will premiere on July 19, 2019. Here are a few of the very few things we know about the movie, plus some of the things we don’t: 

  • Harrison Ford will be 77 when it comes out. 
  • Harrison Ford broke his leg while filming Star Wars: The Force Awakens and was also in a plane crash 11 months ago, so who knows how spry he’ll be. 
  • Steven Spielberg will direct. 
  • George Lucas doesn’t seem to be involved—maybe the Indiana Jones people don’t want him around, either
  • Everybody had high hopes for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and look how that turned out.
  • Based on chronology, the movie should take place in the mid- to late-1960s. 
  • Which I guess means that villains will still be the Soviets? Or will Indiana Jones go to Haight Ashbury to try to steal a mystical hash pipe from the members of Quicksilver Messenger Service? 
  • Shia Labeouf is not yet attached. Presumably whoever writes the script will try to find some clever way to dispatch him, but I plan on avoiding the internet for at least 36 hours if he is eventually cast. (If the movie is set in Haight Ashbury, which it should be, Shia Labeouf should either join the Manson Family or be bassist in Moby Grape.) 
  • This movie will make boatloads of cash, even if it’s god awful.