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The Applicant


"I did not select Arne because he's one of the best basketball players I know," President-elect Barack Obama said yesterday, introducing Education Secretary-designate Arne Duncan. "Although I will say that I think we are putting together the best basketball-playing Cabinet in American history, and I think that is worth noting."

SNL could do a great sketch about the Obama job application process. Imagine an opening shot of the nervous job APPLICANT sitting on a hallway bench. RAHM emerges through a pair of doors and barks, "Next!" APPLICANT walks through the doors into a gymnasium where OBAMA is standing at the free throw line, back to the basket, wearing sweats and a whistle around his neck. OBAMA blows the whistle and flings a snap chest pass at APPLICANT, knocking him back a step. A game of one-on-one ensues, in which OBAMA plays with comical tenacity, stuffing shots and taunting APPLICANT with chants of "He's scared!" and "Airball!" RAHM stands on the sidelines, scowling and taking assiduous notes on a clipboard. But APPLICANT gets a hot hand and battles back to beat OBAMA by a point. RAHM hands his clipboard and pencil to an impressed OBAMA, who flips through the pages, muttering, "You're good. What do you want? We got some stuff at State, maybe Homeland Security..." 

This wouldn't explain how Bill Richardson got a job, however....

--Michael Crowley