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Morrissey is unsurprisingly super grumpy about winning the Bad Sex in Fiction award, even though he totally deserved it.

Speaking to the Uruguayan newspaper El Observador he said“I’ve got a lot of enemies and their greatest intention as everyone knows is to try and put against you all your achievements. The best thing is just to keep your distance from people like that because there are too many good things in life to allow these repulsive horrors to pull you down.” 

So, in Morrissey’s telling he only won because the editors at the Literary Review, which has administered the award for over two decades, are his enemies and want to tear him down. (To be fair, his argument that they’re haters is on the money, but it’s also the whole point of the award.) 

But the real question is this: What’s the real repulsive horror, the Bad Sex in Fiction Award or Morrissey’s prose? The offending passage from the singer’s first novel, List of the Lost, is below. You can judge for yourself. 

Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.