Johnson, a sentient safari suit, saw his upward trajectory seemingly end in late-June when Michael Gove, a malfunctioning Edwardian-era robot, outmaneuvered him in an attempt to gain control over the Conservative Party. Gove ultimately failed to gain control of the party, however, and Theresa May become the UK’s newest prime minister on Wednesday.
But Johnson, who went from being a journalist at The Times to being The Daily Telegraph’s Brussels correspondent (where he made a ton of stuff up) to being the editor of The Spectator to being mayor of London, won’t be kept down for long. Numerous outlets are reporting that May has offered him a post in her cabinet as foreign minister, which is astounding given Johnson’s antipathy for foreigners of all stripes. In 2006, Johnson said Iran should be given a nuclear bomb, because it might cool them out. Earlier this year, Johnson won £1,000 for writing “the most offensive poem” about Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdoğan—Johnson’s entry featured Erdoğan having sex with a goat. And Johnson also referred to foreigners as “piccaninnies” when he was a journalist:
And in 2007, Johnson slammed Barack Obama for his Kenyan heritage called Hillary Clinton, who he could work closely with in 2017, as a “sadistic nurse in a mental hospital.”
Johnson’s appointment is, in many ways, emblematic of the post-Brexit UK: Just when you think things couldn’t get worse, they get worse.