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Blad Blibs

The George Santos Story, Part Three

My vision for America

Getty Images; (embellished by The New Republic)

George Santos just keeps on giving. Now, he tells Piers Morgan that he told all those lies in 2022 because, well, he told them in 2020, and no one caught him then!

It seemed to us that Santos sometimes just puts any old word in any old place without any regard for reality. So it’s in that spirit that we offer three short George Santos “Blad Blibs”—about his early years, his major accomplishments, and his plans for America. Come help George tell his inspiring story.

George here! In conclusion, I want to tell you a little bit about the America I envision.

I guess I should start by saying that like a lot of people from New York, I grew up a typical NOUN. I didn’t think very deeply about politics. Then, one day in July 2015, I saw a NOUN on my TV. It was Donald Trump, and he was PRESENT PARTICIPLE, I.E. VERB ENDING IN -ING about ETHNIC GROUP. I was transfixed. It was as if he was PRESENT PARTICIPLE exactly what was in my BODY ORGAN. I knew right then: Politics would be my life. I needed to follow Donald’s example and VERB my country.

What I believe is very simple. I want an America where every ANIMAL SPECIES has an equal opportunity to ACTION VERB That means ADJECTIVE taxes, a/n ADJECTIVE immigration policy, and no more teaching of woke COLLEGE COURSE to third-graders.

I just want to bring GROUP OF PEOPLE together. I think FORMER PRESIDENT said it best: A house PAST-TENSE VERB against itself cannot VERB. Wait. Maybe that was ANOTHER FORMER PRESIDENT. No matter. All I know is, we can’t let these Democrat Marxists VERB this country. If they have their way, in two generations, every child in America will be taught that George Washington was a/n CIRCUS CHARACTER. That’s not right! Make America ADJECTIVE again!

Choose your words wisely: