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A MAGA CHAPBOOK

The Terrible Poetry of Donald Trump

What free verse was to Walt Whitman, "The Weave" is to the 45th president.

Donald Trump holds his notes while speaking to the media.
Mark Wilson/Getty Images
Donald Trump holds his notes while speaking to the media.

“I do the weave. You know what the weave is? I’ll talk about like, nine different things and they all come back brilliantly together, and it’s like, and friends of mine that are, like English professors, they say, ‘It’s the most brilliant thing I’ve ever seen.’”

Donald Trump speaking at a rally in Johnstown, Pa., August 30, 2024.

“My Beautiful Body”

I tell you what

I had a good life

Before I did this.

Nobody was shooting

At me.

I had a hell of a life.

Oh, those locations!

Those beautiful …

I could have been

I could have been

Sunbathing on

The beach.

You have never seen a body

So beautiful.

Much better than

Much better than

Sleepy Joe.

September 24, 2024

“In Darkest Africa”

They come from

From the Congo

In Africa.

Many people from the Congo.

I don’t know what that is

But they come out of jails

In the Congo.

October 1, 2024

“Common Sense: An Aubade”

We don’t want men in women’s sports.

We want to have strong borders

And we want to have fair elections

Not rigged elections.

And we have a lot of problems in this country.

But if you take a look

At all of it,

Everything

That we’re doing

Every single thing

That we’re doing

Is based on the structure

And common sense.

I was looking at the various states.

And I think 35 states could be the equivalent of Norway and Denmark.

If you think about it.

October 1, 2024

“Detroit”

The whole country is going to be like,

You want to know the truth—

It’ll be like Detroit.

Our whole country will end up being like Detroit if she’s your president.

You’re going to have a mess

On your hand.

address to the Detroit Economic Club, October 13, 2024

“The Most Beautiful Word”

To me

The most beautiful word in the dictionary

Is tariff

And it’s my favorite word.

It needs a public relations firm to help

But to me

It’s the most beautiful word

In the dictionary.

October 15, 2024

“Ode On An Auto Worker”

You know what they really are?

Assembly lines

Like in South Carolina.

But they build everything in Germany

And then

They assemble it here.

They get away with murder

Because they say

‘Oh yes, we’re building cars.’

They don’t build cars.

They take them out of a box

And they assemble them.

We could have

Our child do it.

October 15, 2024

“The Fed”

Look

I think it’s the greatest job

In government.

You show up to the office

once a month

and you say

Let’s see

Flip a coin.

And everybody talks about you

Like you’re

A god.

Oh, what will he do?

I mean, before, the guy used to walk

Into my office.

He was like begging.

He was

He was

Fine.

October 15, 2024

“The Weave”

If you go to war

You know

There’s a possibility you go to war.

I kept us out of war.

I was the only president in 82 years

That kept you out of a war

Except I defeated ISIS.

But I inherited that war.

There’s no wars.

And by the way

By the way

And I think it’s very important—

You can go—

You know, I call it

The Weave.

You can call it

It got a

You have the Weave

As long as you end up in

The right location

At the end.

October 15, 2024