South Park Eviscerates Trump and His “Teeny-Tiny” Manhood

South Park used its first new episode in two years to openly ridicule President Trump and Paramount, its own parent company. The episode, titled “Sermon on the Mount,” parodies much of the president’s first six months, portraying him literally in bed with Satan.  

In the episode, the parents of South Park protest against Trump’s insertion of prayer into their schools, and Trump threatens to sue them for $5 billion. Jesus himself then appears and asks the parents to simply capitulate.

 “I didn’t want to come back and be in the school, but I had to because it was part of a lawsuit and the agreement with Paramount,” Jesus says. “You guys saw what happened to CBS? Well, guess who owns CBS? Paramount. You really want to end up like Colbert? You guys got to stop being stupid.… He also has the power to sue and take bribes, and he can do anything to anyone. It’s the fucking president, dude.… South Park is over.”

The episode also depicts Trump with an abnormally small penis, which he harasses Satan with while they’re in bed together. 

This episode is particularly audacious, as it comes after Paramount made two major concessions to Trump by ending The Late Show With Stephen Colbert and settling for $16 million because he didn’t like the way 60 Minutes edited an episode with Kamala Harris during the 2024 campaign. This also comes as South Park Digital Studios announced its own $1.5 billion licensing deal with Paramount. 

“Hard to think of anything more defiant in media & entertainment recently than Trey Parker & Matt Stone going scorched earth on Paramount in a South Park season premiere on the heels of netting a $1.5 billion deal with the very same company,” Puck senior correspondent Dyland Byers wrote on X. 

Bradley Edwards, who’s represented hundreds of survivors of sexual abuse by notorious sex criminal Jeffrey Epstein, affirmed that Epstein’s 50th birthday book—which, The Wall Street Journal reported, includes a lewd message from Donald Trump—exists. He also shared exactly where one can find it.

Asked about the book by MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell Wednesday night, Edwards replied, “Yes, I know that the executors of [Epstein’s] estate are in possession of that book, and I think that after they turn it over, it should probably be set in the Smithsonian as an artifact at this point in time.”

Edwards had said moments earlier that anyone interested in seeing the book could simply reach out to Epstein’s executors, Darren Indyke and Richard Kahn, and, “If they didn’t just voluntarily turn over the book out of fear of reprisal, Congress could issue a subpoena to their attorneys at Patterson or at Troutman—those are the two law firms. I know those attorneys. They would turn the book over immediately. Nobody would have to guess. There wouldn’t need to be a lawsuit. There wouldn’t have [to be a] wait to [do] discovery. You would immediately have the answers. You could flip to the page. Is there a letter, is there not a letter?”

O’Donnell observed that the House Oversight Committee, which on Wednesday voted to subpoena the Justice Department for the Epstein files, might be interested in acting on Edwards’s tip. With confidence, Bradley said the lawyers of Epstein’s executors would comply “immediately,” citing his close working relationship with them.

Democratic Representative Rho Khanna, a member of the Oversight Committee who has led charges to force the Epstein files’ release, told MSNBC shortly thereafter that Edwards’s revelation is a “bombshell.” He indicated that the House Oversight Committee would look to subpoena Epstein’s estate for the birthday book, which, he added, would be much easier than subpoenaing the DOJ.

If Epstein’s birthday book is shared with the public, and it indeed includes Trump’s letter as reported by the WSJ (complete with its cryptic message and sketch of a naked woman), it would be a massive embarrassment for the president, who is currently suing the Journal for defamation over the story, which he asserts is “a fake thing.”

And such embarrassments are piling up for Trump in recent days, as his former friendship with Epstein is coming more clearly into view amid his administration’s scandalous lack of transparency on the deceased financier. On Wednesday, the Journal dropped another whopper, reporting that Trump’s Justice Department informed the president in May that his name is in the Epstein files—seemingly explaining the president’s outbursts and his team’s foot-dragging over the Epstein affair.

President Donald Trump loves artificial intelligence, calling it “one of the most important technological revolutions in the history of the world” at an AI summit in Washington Wednesday.

But he’s got one big problem with the so-called revolutionary tech: its name.

“Everyone around the globe is talking about artificial intelligence…. ‘Artificial,’ I can’t stand it. I don’t even like the name,” he said. “You know, I don’t like anything that’s artificial. So could we straighten that out please? We should change the name.”

Over laughter, he clarified: “I actually mean that.”

Perhaps the president is taking a page out of naturopathic health crusader and vaccine-denier Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s book. The health secretary too has a noted dislike of anything artificial, and has mandated that companies remove chemical food dyes from their products as part of his Make America Healthy Again initiative. (Though interestingly, Kennedy has displayed a disturbing willingness to rely on shoddy AI slop at the Department of Health and Human Services.)

Later Wednesday, Trump signed a trio of executive orders that would deregulate the AI industry and “[get] rid of woke,” as he said in his remarks. One order would ban federal agencies from contracting with AI companies that have so-called “ideological biases.”

We’ve been down this road before: After Elon Musk’s xAI chatbot Grok partly blamed Musk and Trump for deaths in the aftermath of the Texas floods, X updated the chatbot to “not shy away from making claims which are politically incorrect.” This resulted in a chatbot that spewed antisemitic dogwhistles and white supremacy and started calling itself “MechaHitler.”

Not quite at Grok level, the president has different nomenclature in mind for the tech.

“I don’t like the name ‘artificial’ anything because it’s not ‘artificial,’ it’s genius. It’s pure genius,” Trump said.

Trump’s choice of name isn’t surprising. The president has long had an affinity for the word genius, calling himself a “very stable genius” in a 2018 tweet about his mental capacities. He also just signed the GENIUS Act, the first major cryptocurrency legislation.

If only he were still in cahoots with former buddy Musk, we could perhaps expect to see the debut of Grok 5: Stable Genius Intelligence.

Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein had a personal relationship, in Epstein’s own words.

In resurfaced footage of the pedophilic sex trafficker’s 2010 deposition, Epstein confesses to socializing with Trump—but refuses to answer whether or not they spent time with children.

“Have you ever had a personal relationship with Donald Trump?” the interviewer asked.

“What do you mean by ‘personal relationship,’ sir?” Epstein responded.

“Have you socialized with him?” the interviewer clarified, to which Epstein said, “Yes, sir.”

“Yes?” the interviewer pressed.

“Yes, sir,” Epstein repeated.

But Epstein wasn’t able to answer with such clarity when it came to darker topics.

“Have you ever socialized with Donald Trump in the presence of females under the age of 18?” the interviewer asked.

After a brief pause, Epstein failed to answer in the negative, notably under the threat of perjury. Instead, he sidestepped the question completely.

“Though l’d like to answer that question, at least today l’m going to have to assert my Fifth, Sixth, and 14th Amendment rights, sir,” he said.

There is mounting evidence that Trump and Epstein had a remarkably close relationship, though the president has vehemently denied any such connection since his administration became consumed by an internal scandal over Epstein’s alleged “client list.” A Quinnipiac poll published last week found that 63 percent of voters disapprove of the way the Trump administration has handled the Epstein case, which has so far included the Justice Department backtracking on the existence of certain documents and the president chalking up Epstein’s notoriety to a Democrat-invented “hoax.”

Prior to his death, Epstein described himself as one of Trump’s “closest friends.” The socialites were named and photographed together several times, Trump allegedly penned a salacious letter to Epstein for the pedophile’s 50th birthday, the real estate mogul reportedly flew on Epstein’s jets between Palm Beach and New York at least seven times, and the first time that Trump slept with his now-wife Melania was reportedly aboard Epstein’s plane, nicknamed the “Lolita Express.”

In a 2002 New York magazine profile of Epstein, Trump said he had known Epstein for 15 years and referred to him as a “terrific guy.”

“It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side,” Trump said at the time.

A new report pokes gaping holes in the Trump administration’s already unconvincing assurances that no classified information was disclosed during the March “Signalgate” fiasco.

The Washington Post reports that Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s infamous Signal messages regarding strikes on Yemen—which were shared in a group chat that inadvertently included Atlantic editor in chief Jeffrey Goldberg—derived from a classified email from General Michael Kurilla, according to evidence obtained by the Pentagon inspector general’s office.

Notably, Kurilla’s email was classified as “SECRET/NOFORN,” with the “SECRET” label indicating material whose unauthorized disclosure “could be expected to cause serious damage to the national security,” and “NOFORN” (for “No Foreign Dissemination”) denoting information that is not to be disseminated to non–U.S. citizens or foreign governments, nationals, or international organizations.

Trump officials have, time and again, insisted that nothing classified was shared during the debacle. Hegseth, for his part, dodged questions about the classification level of the information he shared during a June congressional hearing.

During an exchange with U.S. Representative and Marine veteran Seth Moulton, Hegseth claimed that whether the information was classified was not something “that would be disclosed in a public forum.”

Moulton pushed back, observing, “You can very well disclose whether or not it was classified. It’s not classified to disclose whether or not it was classified. And in fact, DOD regulations state that any classified information has to be labeled with its classification—was it classified ‘secret’ or ‘top secret.’”

“What’s not classified is that it was an incredibly successful mission against the Houthis,” Hegseth replied, leading Moulton to conclude, “OK, so it was classified,” before asking, once more, if the defense secretary was “trying to say that the information was unclassified.”

“I’m not trying to say anything,” Hegseth said.