On Friday it was reported by The New York Times that Spicer is resigning because he objects to the administration’s decision to appoint Anthony Scaramucci as communications director (NOT because he’s so miserable he cries himself to sleep every night, while clinging a Japanese body pillow). Spicer might be one of worst people in existence, but nobody embodied the unique combination of malevolence and hapless incompetence that is Donald Trump’s administration as well as Sean Spicer. He was Trump’s mouthpiece, and a glorious one at that. From day one, when Spicer pushed the most ridiculous lie possible about the size of the crowd at Trump’s inauguration—“this was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration, period”—to his well-deserved humiliation and misery at the hands of Trump (sometimes abetted by Steve Bannon), Spicer was the perfect press secretary for our dystopian times. Here is a quick retrospective of Sean’s time in office:
Remember when it was revealed that Sean Spicer chewed and swallowed 35 sticks of Orbit cinnamon gum before noon?
Even when he is not speaking, it works on overdrive, churning through pieces of Orbit cinnamon gum, which he chews and swallows whole. Notwithstanding his line of work, the man just can’t stand a gross-feeling mouth.
“Two and a half packs by noon,” said Spicer. “I talked to my doctor about it, he said it’s no problem.”
Unearthing Sean Spicer’s old tweets already seems like a long-gone tradition:
That very professional and revealing interview with a Breitbart reporter who was definitely not three children in a trench coat:
The time that The Washington Post reported that Sean Spicer was hiding in the bushes after Trump fired James Comey and gave his communications staff no warning and the Post had to issue this correction:
EDITOR’S NOTE: This story has been updated to more precisely describe White House press secretary Sean Spicer’s location late Tuesday night in the minutes before he briefed reporters. Spicer huddled with his staff among bushes near television sets on the White House grounds, not “in the bushes,” as the story originally stated.
When Donald Trump didn’t let Sean, a good Catholic boy, see the Pope, which was reportedly “all he wanted.” Or, when Trump was having fun with trucks and Sean was all work, no play:
And remember that time when Sean told everyone that Adolf Hitler “didn’t even sink to using chemical weapons” like Syria’s Bashar Al-Assad?
We can only scratch the surface of Sean, a complex man with a complicated past:
See you at the next Katsucon, Sean!