Pathetic Trump Chickens Out of Testifying in Hush-Money Trial

Donald Trump’s defense rested and concluded witness testimony in his hush-money trial Tuesday—and the former president pathetically chickened out of taking the stand.

“Yeah, I would testify, absolutely,” Trump told reporters in April before the trial began. “I’m testifying. I tell the truth, I mean, all I can do is tell the truth, and the truth is that there is no case.”

His lawyer Alina Habba again confirmed on Monday that he wants to take the stand—that he is “willing” and “able.”

But in the end, the beleaguered blowhard weaseled out of it.

Trump has wailed at length about a gag order issued by Judge Juan Merchan restricting his public statements, arguing incoherently that the gag order prohibits him from testifying—a statement that is flatly untrue, as the gag order applies to public statements from Trump targeting jurors and prosecution and does not apply to sworn testimony.

Perhaps Trump chickened out because his allies are familiar with his proclivity to ramble uncontrollably and knew he would likely put his foot in his mouth, as he’s already been doing.

In lieu of public statements, Trump has benefited from a rotating gaggle of copycat surrogates speaking on his behalf and admitting to helping him violate his gag order over and over again.

Merchan concluded Tuesday morning that closing arguments would resume the following Tuesday—leaving Trump a full week off from court to violate his gag order again.

Senator Ted Cruz posted a message on X (formerly Twitter) Monday afternoon touting all his help after a storm hit the Houston area on Thursday. Unfortunately for him, the internet never forgets, and in his case, he doesn’t have the best record on natural disasters.

In 2021, Cruz dashed off to vacation in Cancun while much of Texas was without electricity after a winter disaster, earning him scorn and mockery from his political colleagues as well as on social media. His post on Monday quickly brought in commentators eager to remind him of his actions.

Some brought up how he’s spent his time touting his podcast (which could get him in campaign finance trouble) and hawking his new book.

The Lose Cruz PAC, which is raising money to oust the Texas senator, also got in on the act.

Cruz is facing a tough reelection campaign against Representative Colin Allred, a former football player, and is looking to shore up any support he can. Cruz has a number of obstacles this time, such as Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s presidential candidacy pulling away votes and dangerously low fundraising numbers.

He should probably be doing things in Congress that would help his popularity, but in true Cruz fashion, he’s trying to make sure airlines don’t have to easily offer refunds and wants to give politicians extra security in airports so they that don’t get bothered if they leave their state in the middle of a disaster.

An imprisoned former senior Trump White House aide is already envisioning Donald Trump’s second presidential term—and it includes “mass deportations.”

Peter Navarro is serving a four-month sentence in federal prison for refusing to respond to a congressional subpoena during the House Select Committee’s January 6 investigation. But time in the clink has helped Trump’s self-described “alter ego” iron out the finer details of Trump’s presidential politics—from international trade and alliances to border security, according to Semafor.

“The New MAGA Deal documents 100 actions in 100 days,” Navarro said, referring to a new book he’s working on behind bars.

At the top of the agenda of unfinished business is a plan to bring private-sector supply chains and manufacturing “back to U.S. soil.”

“American multinational corporations naturally want to offshore American jobs in their search for cheap, sweatshop labor and pollution havens,” Navarro said. “That’s why God created tariffs.”

But tariffs and economic restrictions are only the beginning. Within those first 100 days, Navarro predicted that Trump will promise to close the border and force immigrant populations out of the country.

“Trump will also quickly seal the border and begin mass deportations,” Navarro told Semafor, blaming President Joe Biden for importing a “wave of crime and terrorism” and an “uneducated mass” to the nation.

And any former staff who even remotely opposed Trump’s plans during his first term can forget about being invited back to serve the GOP presidential nominee again, according to Navarro. That includes Trump’s former chief economic adviser Gary Cohn and former Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin, who Navarro said did everything he could to “soften” Trump’s economic agenda. Instead, only those completely loyal to Trump’s vision will have a spot in the forthcoming term.

Representative Jasmine Crockett is doubling down on her viral jab against far-right Representative Marjorie Taylor-Greene by beating the firebrand at her own game: Crockett filed a trademark on the phrase “bleach blonde bad-built butch body” and is producing a “Crockett Clapback Collection” featuring phrases the freshman lawmaker has said.

Crockett, a representative from Texas, posted a mockup of a shirt featuring the phrase “bleach blonde bad-built butch body,” which Crockett refers to as “B6” for its alliteration. On announcing the line of swag—which trademark filings note will include hats, hoodies, socks, and T-shirts—Crockett says proceeds “will go to ensuring that we have a Democratic House!”

The diss came during a House Oversight Committee meeting after Greene inexplicably insulted Crockett’s appearance while ranting about Judge Juan Merchan’s daughter. The committee meeting was reviewing a vote on whether to file articles of contempt against U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland for refusing to provide confidential recordings between Biden and special counsel Robert Hur. During Greene’s tirade, Representative Crockett asked her, “Do you know what we’re here for?” to which Greene responded, “I don’t think you know what you’re here for. I think your fake eyelashes are messing up what you’re reading.”

In response to the trademark and merch launch by Crockett, Greene made the incredibly normal decision to publish a video of herself working out. “Yes my body is built and strong,” Greene wrote. “NOT with nips, tucks, plastic, or silicone, but through a healthy lifestyle.”

Leaning into white fragility, Greene appeared on Fox News to decry body shaming against herself while doubling down on body shaming others, griping to the outlet notorious for cookie-cutter bleach-blonde, Botoxed hosts, “I think no matter what shape, size, or how we look, we need to be ourselves, not telling women the only way to be attractive or accepted is to have fake boobs, fake hair, fake lashes, and injected faces.”

Donald Trump’s social media venture is taking a serious dive, according to its first earnings report.

Trump Media and Technology Group, which owns Truth Social, lost about $327.6 million last quarter ending March 31. These losses include $311 million in noncash expenses from the company’s merger with Digital World.

The company only brought in about $770,500 in revenue, down from $1.1 million the year before. The report had been delayed after the company fired its auditor, BF Borgers, who was charged with “massive fraud” by the Securities and Exchange Commission earlier this month. The company has had at least two other auditors in its short existence: one that resigned in July 2023 and another that was terminated in March to hire BF Borgers.

The company is currently trading at $48 per share, down from its peak of nearly $72 during its initial public offering in March. That’s a loss of more than half the company’s value. It had a bad run of news, even reaching out to the federal government to figure out why the stock has performed so poorly. Trump Media’s CEO, former Representative Devin Nunes, even complained to NASDAQ’s CEO that the company was the victim of illegal “naked short selling”—leading to his brutal mocking on Wall Street. Two of the company’s top investors were also charged with insider trading in April.

As a result of the company’s losses and his own financial difficulties, Trump himself has been kicked off the Bloomberg Billionaires Index, a daily ranking of the 500 richest people in the world. He also has to be careful about his usual bragging, as the SEC could see it as an attempt to pump up the company’s stock. And Trump can’t sell off any of that stock for six months without board approval, a difficult prospect considering his hefty legal bills.