Fed Agent Whines About “Onions and Mustard” in D.C. Sandwich Guy Case

The trial of Sean Dunn, the D.C. man charged with throwing a Subway sandwich at a federal agent this summer, is officially underway—and off to a hilarious start.

After federal prosecutors failed to charge Dunn with a felony, they’re now attempting to get him on misdemeanor assault. And the testimony the “assaulted” officer is sharing of his traumatic sandwich encounter is harrowing indeed.

According to court records and video footage of the foot-long fight, Dunn yelled at Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore and other federal agents, calling them “fucking fascists” and saying, “I don’t want you in my city!” before hurling the hoagie at Lairmore, who was wearing a bulletproof vest.

Lairmore testified in court Monday that he was not injured by the sandwich, according to HuffPost reporter Dave Jamieson. However, he said it “kind of exploded” on his chest.

“I could smell the onions and mustard,” Lairmore said.

However, the defense pressed Lairmore on whether the sandwich really exploded by referring to a photo of the sandwich, still wrapped, on the ground.

“The sandwich hasn’t exploded at all, has it?” the defense asked.

“It looks like a little bit is coming out towards the bottom,” Lairmore replied.

Lairmore also testified that he received gag gifts from fellow officers after the ordeal: a sandwich plushie toy and a patch that said “Felony Footlong.”

It’s a dark day in America when a man tasked with disappearing people without due process is forced to endure the horror of condiments.

Donald Trump took to Truth Social Tuesday morning to post about New York City’s mayoral election with his characteristic nuance and eloquence.

“Any Jewish person that votes for Zohran Mamdani, a proven and self professed JEW HATER, is a stupid person!!!” the president of the United States wrote about a historically oppressed minority group.

It goes without saying that Mamdani is not, in fact, a “Jew hater,” but a Muslim candidate who supports the equal application of human rights law across the globe. He has pledged to increase funding to prevent hate crimes by 800 percent. He was the preferred candidate of many Jewish New Yorkers in the primary, and was recently endorsed by one of the city’s Orthodox communities, the Satmar in Brooklyn.

One could argue that it’s more antisemitic to assume that there is no difference of opinion among Jewish voters, or that every Jewish New Yorker has a deeper allegiance to Israel than to their own city—an accusation of “dual loyalty” that is leveraged against Jews (and other religious minorities) to otherize and scapegoat them.

Mamdani’s opponents have helped fuel a surge in Islamophobia, pretending their racism is an acceptable strategy or a mere policy critique. From the fixation on the way the Democratic nominee eats to the disrespectful invocation of the September 11 tragedy as a “gotcha,” the relentless questions about Israel in a race that should be about rent prices in New York City, and even to credible threats on Mamdani’s life, attacks on the candidate simply due to his religion and his skin color have become shockingly normalized.

Voters in New Jersey awoke to worrying developments Tuesday: bomb threats at polling places across the state.

New Jersey Attorney General Matthew Platkin issued a statement warning of emailed threats at polls in Bergen, Essex, Mercer, Middlesex, Monmouth, Ocean, and Passaic counties, and said law enforcement had worked to “secure these polling locations and ensure the safety of each voter.”

NJ.com reports that some polling locations have been closed while police investigate, with voters sent to alternative locations. In Newark, multiple phishing emails were sent with fake claims of bomb threats. And in Passaic County, there is a heavy police presence outside a Paterson voting location.

State officials are trying to reassure the public that everything is safe for voters Tuesday.

“Law enforcement has determined that there are no credible threats at this time. We are doing everything in our power to protect voters and poll workers and coordinate closely with state, local, and federal partners to ensure a smooth and safe election,” said Lieutenant Governor Tahesha Way, who also serves as New Jersey secretary of state.

Don’t expect any kind of help from the White House, though. Trump’s Department of Justice said it would “monitor” polls in New Jersey and California weeks ago, but has yet to say anything about Tuesday’s threats. That’s perhaps because Trump thinks fear will boost his party’s chances at the polls, and the GOP has gutted federal programs to safeguard elections. New Jersey’s elections were already predicted to be close, and there’s no telling how voters will respond to these threats as the voting day continues.

Non–New Yorker Elon Musk peddled the stupidest conspiracy about the New York City mayoral election Tuesday morning.

“The New York City ballot form is a scam!” Musk posted on X. “No ID is required. Other mayoral candidates appear twice. Cuomo’s name is last in bottom right.”

Musk’s tweet seemingly implies the ballot is somehow rigged against Andrew Cuomo, who lost the Democratic nomination to Zohran Mamdani in June.

All of Musk’s ramblings have easy explanations, which, if he or his rabid retweeters lived in New York City, they’d probably already know.

First, city election law doesn’t require voters to bring an ID to the polls—instead, you have to include a driver’s license or Social Security number when you register, so when you show up to actually vote, all you need is your name and address.

Second, you can run with multiple parties in NYC. Mamdani, and other progressive candidates, are running on the Working Families Party line in addition to the Democratic line. Candidates can also run on a ballot line detached from an organized party: Curtis Sliwa, the Republican candidate, is listed a second time as well on the “Protect Animals” line.

Cuomo, an independent, chose to run on the “Fight and Deliver” line. If he wanted to be listed more than once, perhaps he should’ve considered winning a major party nomination.

And lastly, the ballot order is determined by how many votes a party received in the last gubernatorial election, with unaffiliated candidates (like Cuomo) appearing after the partisan ones.* Elon, you’re reaching.

This explanation is simple and clear—but that doesn’t matter, because Musk, like Donald Trump, couldn’t care less about whether his fearmongering is based in fact. As one X user in response put it, “When you’re a moron everything looks like a conspiracy.”

* This story has been updated to clarify the order in which New York candidates appear on the general ballot.

Former vice president and architect of the war on terror Dick Cheney passed away Monday at the age of 84 from complications of pneumonia and cardiac and vascular disease.

According to a statement from his family, Cheney “was a great and good man who taught his children and grandchildren to love our country, and to live lives of courage, honor, love, kindness, and fly fishing.”

The rest of the country, however, knows him for being one of the most powerful vice presidents in U.S. history, helping to lead the United States after the 9/11 attacks into a myriad of military campaigns, including Iraq and Afghanistan, and having the U.S. commit torture and extrajudicial assassinations across the world.

Cheney was unapologetic about his actions during his tenure as vice president, saying in an interview in 2014, “Torture, to me … is an American citizen on his cellphone making a last call to his four young daughters shortly before he burns to death in the upper levels of the Trade Center in New York on 9/11.”

When pressed about the CIA’s interrogation program from those days, which included waterboarding, prisoners shackled in stress positions, and people of mistaken identity tortured, Cheney said, “I’d do it again in a minute.”

Cheney also expressed no regrets over leading the U.S. into the Iraq War, calling it “the right thing to do” more than a decade later, even after it plunged the U.S. into debt, killed hundreds of thousands of Iraqis at a minimum, and destabilized the country so much that the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, or ISIS, was later able to gain a foothold.

Later in life, Cheney was critical of the Republican Party, breaking with Donald Trump along with his daughter, former Representative Liz Cheney, and later endorsing Kamala Harris in 2024. But he died without facing any accountability for his earlier actions.

This story has been updated.

Did Kash Patel make up a terrorist plot? The lawyer for one of the accused seems to think so.

The FBI director announced Friday that the Federal Bureau of Investigation had thwarted a potential terror plot in Dearborn, Michigan. Patel said that multiple young men had been arrested in a raid for plotting a “violent attack” on “pumpkin day,” which investigators believed referred to Halloween.  

But Amir Makled, an attorney representing Mohmed Ali, one of the men facing criminal charges in connection to the plot, claimed that after reviewing the case, he believed there had never been a terror plot to begin with, the Associated Press reported Monday.

“If these young men were on forums that they should not have been on or things of that nature, then we’ll have to wait and see,” Makled said. “But I don’t believe that there’s anything illegal about any of the activity they were doing.

“I don’t know where this hysteria and this fearmongering came from,” Makled said. 

“We are confident that, once the facts are reviewed objectively, it will be clear there was never any planned ‘mass-casualty’ event or coordinated terror plot of any kind,” he told CNN Sunday. He said that three men had been arrested, and two were taken in for questioning. 

Hussein Bazzi, an attorney representing another suspect arrested in the raid, told CNN that “pumpkin day” may have referred to “online gamer chat that was misinterpreted.”

Attorney General Pam Bondi released a criminal complaint Monday alleging that two men, Ali and Majed Mahmoud, had planned a “major ISIS-linked terror plot.” The pair face charges of “receiving and transferring, and attempting and conspiring to transfer, firearms and ammunition knowing and having reasonable cause to believe that the firearms and ammunition would be used to commit a Federal crime of terrorism,” according to the complaint. 

Makled pointed out that the firearms were all legally bought and registered. “The reality here involves a small group … with a lawful interest in recreational firearms, not a terrorist cell or organized attack,” he told CNN. 

After the arrests were first made public Friday, MSNBC’s Ken Dilanian reported that something had been off about the timing of the announcement. “There seems to be consternation within the FBI that the director announced these arrests prematurely,” he wrote on X.

The timing of Patel’s seemingly heroic feat was quite convenient, as it landed amid a firestorm of backlash after he reportedly used a government-funded jet to visit his girlfriend.

Neo-Nazi livestreamer Nick Fuentes is tearing the Heritage Foundation apart.

Ryan Neuhaus, the Heritage Foundation president Kevin Roberts’s chief of staff, has walked away from the conservative think tank. Neuhaus’s departure comes during an internal maelstrom sparked by Roberts’s defense of Tucker Carlson and the ex–Fox News host’s decision to interview Fuentes, a known white supremacist and Hitler fan.

“Ryan was not fired. He offered his resignation, which was accepted,” a Heritage spokesperson confirmed to The Hill Monday. “Ryan is a good man, we appreciate his service, and we have no doubt he will serve the movement in another capacity.”

Carlson extended his national platform to Fuentes last week, offering the fringe influencer a chance to swim in the MAGA mainstream. The interview has since come under fire from several corners of the Republican Party, highlighting that the former primetime TV host threw the antisemite a string of softball questions while failing to challenge Fuentes’s radical and violent beliefs.

Neuhaus’s critical error was in resharing a number of social media posts backing his boss’s defense of Carlson, including one that appeared to attack his Heritage Foundation co-workers by arguing that those “virtue signaling” over the Fuentes interview should “resign if so outraged” and that it would be an “addition by subtraction for the institution.”

Roberts released a video on X Thursday in support of Carlson and Fuentes, noting that while he disagreed with Fuentes’s beliefs, he did not believe that “canceling” the Christian nationalist Holocaust-denier was an appropriate reaction to the interview.

A handful of Heritage staffers, including Jason Bedrick, Jay Greene, and John Peluso, have since retweeted criticism of Roberts’s message. Conservatives outside of the institution also condemned Roberts’s perspective, including Texas Senator Ted Cruz, prompting a follow-up statement by Roberts in which he clarified that he did not condone Fuentes’s antisemitic views.

“Our task is to confront and challenge those poisonous ideas at every turn to prevent them from taking America to a very dark place. Join us—not to cancel—but to guide, challenge, and strengthen the conversation, and be confident as I am that our best ideas at the heart of western civilization will prevail,” Roberts wrote in a social media post.

House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries had some tough words for Republicans in a press conference Monday about the government shutdown.

When asked by a reporter about working with someone who has been obstructing the release of the Jeffrey Epstein files, Jeffries said that “the Trump administration and Mike Johnson are running a pedophile protection program.”

“That’s what they’ve been doing. And that’s the reason why they refuse to swear in Representative-elect Adelita Grijalva, for weeks now,” Jeffries added, referring to the congresswoman who won a special election on September 23 to replace her late father, Representative Raúl Grijalva. “She was elected in late September decisively.”

Jeffries said that Grijalva hasn’t been sworn in by House Speaker Johnson because she would be the deciding vote on legislation requiring the Department of Justice to release the Epstein files.

“Week after week after week have gone by, and Representative-elect Adelita Grijalva is unable to serve 800,000 people in the state of Arizona all because of the pedophile protection program being run by Mike Johnson and House Republicans at the direction of their boss, Donald J. Trump,” Jeffries added.

Jeffries has faced criticism, along with other Democratic leaders like Senator Chuck Schumer, for failing to mount an effective opposition to President Trump and the Republican Party, so taking a tougher tack against the GOP makes political sense. During the month-long government shutdown, the polls have consistently shown that Americans are more upset with Trump and Republicans than with Democrats, and Senator Bernie Sanders, among others, is urging the party not to back down.

Johnson has set a record by how long he is taking to swear in Grijalva and is refusing to do so until the government reopens. Meanwhile, Trump is trying his best to dismiss the files’ importance, likely because he’s mentioned in them, and the GOP continues to cover for him.

Donald Trump’s MRI timeline isn’t adding up.

A former White House physician has challenged the president’s retelling of his recent medical scans, arguing that the amount of time Trump spent at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in early October suggests he could have gotten additional work done than initially stated.

The administration spent much of October dodging questions about Trump’s visit to Walter Reed. The White House said that the president was in “excellent overall health,” while the physician to the president Sean Barbabella recorded in a memo that Trump’s cardiovascular vitality was “approximately 14 years younger than his chronological age.”

The stubborn cover-up wasn’t impervious to Trump’s own mouth, however. Ultimately it was the president who let slip that the appointment was for an MRI scan, a medical tool typically used to assess tumors, joint injuries, or heart conditions.

But former White House physician Jeffrey Kuhlman, who served under former President Barack Obama, noticed a disconnect between the procedures Trump claimed to receive and the four-hour window when he was at Walter Reed.

“Most any procedure scope, I had the capabilities there at the White House. The only thing I couldn’t, that I’d have to [go to] Walter Reed for, is advanced imaging,” Kuhlman told The Hill.

Trump is the oldest person to be elected president. It wouldn’t be unusual for a 79-year-old to require a second checkup, according to Kuhlman, but what is odd is the amount of time it took. Aside from the MRI scan, Kuhlman remarked that routine tests and preventative screenings for Trump shouldn’t have taken more than 15 minutes.

“It’s about an eight-minute helicopter ride from the South Lawn to Walter Reed,” Kuhlman told the publication. “So we know that he at least had four hours available to undergo medical care. There’s a disconnect there.”

There’s no legal requirement for a presidential administration to be upfront or transparent about medical issues affecting the commander in chief, but Trump’s health has been a topic of concern since he was on the campaign trail, when reports circulated that he couldn’t remember the contents of the cognitive exams he claimed to ace. 

Since then, the president has been spotted with odd discolorations on his hand, routinely appears discombobulated and lethargic during critical meetings with world leaders, and had a drooping expression during 9/11 ceremonies in September that onlookers suggested could be a  sign of a stroke.

The Trump administration has agreed to partially fund SNAP benefits for November, in compliance with two federal judges’ orders last week. But it will only provide half of families’ usual monthly payments—and it could take multiple months to be paid out.

Trump officials told a judge Monday that November’s benefits would have to be recalculated, and therefore it would take some states “anywhere from a few weeks to up to several months”  to recalculate the reduced payments. Over 40 million Americans are enrolled in SNAP.

In eleventh-hour decisions, two federal judges ruled on Friday that the Trump administration must use a $5.25 billion emergency fund to pay out some of November’s benefits. Though they encouraged the administration to tap into other funding sources to pay the rest, administration officials declined.

For SNAP recipients looking to feed their families, this decision from the president likely provides little comfort. Receiving half your benefits, months down the line, has little impact on what groceries you can buy right now—especially as we get closer to holiday season and money gets tighter. 

The USDA froze SNAP funding on Saturday for the first time since the program began in 1964. In the past, contingency funds had been used to pay out benefits early, but the Trump administration fought against that option until ordered by judges to adopt it.