Trump Suggests Insane New Motive for Invading Greenland

President Trump spent a large part of his Wednesday morning ranting on Truth Social, with one of those rants concerning how helpless NATO is without him, how he ended eight wars, and how he still deserves the Nobel Peace Prize—even though he swears he doesn’t really care.

“Remember, for all of those big NATO fans, they were at 2% GDP, and most weren’t paying their bills, UNTIL I CAME ALONG. The USA was, foolishly, paying for them! I, respectfully, got them to 5% GDP, AND THEY PAY, immediately,” he wrote. “Everyone said that couldn’t be done, but it could, because, beyond all else, they are all my friends. Without my involvement, Russia would have ALL OF UKRAINE right now.”

While this is par for the course for Trump—he’s been railing against NATO for years—this recent installment comes with Trump’s threatened military annexation of Greenland hanging overhead. That kind of escalation could end NATO as we know it, and our European allies are far from thrilled.

“I believe one should take the American president seriously when he says that he wants Greenland,” Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen said earlier this week. “But I will also make it clear that if the U.S. chooses to attack another NATO country militarily, then everything stops, including NATO and thus the security that has been established since the end of the Second World War.”

Trump could care less about this, as he’s more concerned with what NATO has done for him lately, and vice versa.

“Remember, also, I single-handedly ENDED 8 WARS, and Norway, a NATO Member, foolishly chose not to give me the Noble Peace Prize,” he continued, misspelling “Nobel” while repeating his “ended 8 wars” lie. “But that doesn’t matter! What does matter is that I saved Millions of Lives. RUSSIA AND CHINA HAVE ZERO FEAR OF NATO WITHOUT THE UNITED STATES, AND I DOUBT NATO WOULD BE THERE FOR US IF WE REALLY NEEDED THEM. EVERYONE IS LUCKY THAT I REBUILT OUR MILITARY IN MY FIRST TERM, AND CONTINUE TO DO SO. We will always be there for NATO, even if they won’t be there for us. The only Nation that China and Russia fear and respect is the DJT REBUILT U.S.A.”

Is Trump about to invade a country and destroy NATO all because he didn’t win the “Noble” Peace Prize? It sure seems like it.

As if there wasn’t enough news Tuesday, Tony Dokoupil spent a full minute of CBS Evening News that night “saluting” Secretary of State Marco Rubio for being the subject of online memes.

“Only in America: the many lives and many jobs of Marco Rubio,” Dokoupil said, closing out the second night of his already unfortunate run at the flagship program with a segment called “Marco Rubio’s ‘Moment.’” Who exactly said the secretary of state was having a “moment”? Dokoupil didn’t bother to say, but it quickly became clear.

“Whatever you think of his politics, you have to admit, it’s an impressive résumé. And now, AI memes have added to that portfolio—” Dokoupil continued, as a slideshow of differently outfitted Rubios glazed the screen.

But it’s not an “impressive résumé”—it’s a disgrace. One must assume that Rubio is not actually simultaneously serving as secretary of state, interim national security adviser, acting archivist at the National Archives and Records Administration, and most recently, “viceroy of Venezuela.” Rather, he is simply holding those titles while allowing organizations such as USAID, of which he is also acting administrator, to suffocate beneath him.

In any case, if your fluff piece about one of the president’s goons is enough to be reposted by the White House, then it’s not journalism—it’s a fancam.

“Marco Rubio, we salute you! You’re the ultimate Florida man,” Dokoupil concluded.

Meanwhile, Dokoupil only gave fewer than 20 seconds to discussing the fifth anniversary of the deadly January 6 riot at the U.S. Capitol, the first anniversary since Donald Trump pardoned more than 1,500 rioters. Dokoupil also dangerously bothsidesed the memorial, saying Trump accused Democrats of not preventing the attack while House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries “accused the president of quote, ‘whitewashing it.’” (Trump went so far as to publish an alternative history timeline on the White House website.)

Dokoupil was tapped by right-wing shill Bari Weiss to revamp the nightly broadcast. So far, his performance in the role is already aligning with Weiss’s journalistic North Star: staying on the Trump administration’s good side, and pulling the national discourse to an invented center that is both unrigorous and uninteresting.

President Trump is overseeing the transfer of between 30 and 50 million barrels of Venezuelan oil into U.S. custody—making his true motives in the region all the more apparent.

Trump stated Wednesday evening on Truth Social that the “interim authorities” of Venezuela—likely referring to Venezuela’s acting leader, Delcy Rodríguez—were gifting him “High Quality, Sanctioned Oil.”

“This Oil will be sold at its Market Price, and that money will be controlled by me, as President of the United States of America, to ensure it is used to benefit the people of Venezuela and the United States!” he continued. “I have asked Energy Secretary Chris Wright to execute this plan, immediately. It will be taken by storage ships, and brought directly to unloading docks in the United States. Thank you for your attention to this matter!”

It seems that the Trump administration extrajudicially killed more than 100 fishermen off the Venezuelan coast, killed 80 people while bombing Caracas, and kidnapped President Nicolás Maduro and his wife in the middle of the night all to have even more control over oil that we’ve historically always gotten from them.

And his promise to “ensure [the oil] is used to benefit the people of Venezuela and the United States” is dubious at best.

This comes as Secretary Wright announced plans to control Venezuelan oil “indefinitely.”

The U.S. will never stop being involved in Venezuela’s oil production, according to Trump administration officials.

Washington will instead continue to oversee and sell Venezuelan oil “indefinitely,” Energy Secretary Chris Wright said Wednesday morning, even after U.S. officials finish selling off the Latin American country’s stockpiled oil reserves.

“Instead of the oil being blockaded, as it is right now, we’re gonna let the oil flow … to United States refineries and around the world to bring better oil supplies, but have those sales done by the U.S. government,” Wright said while speaking at Goldman Sachs’s Energy, CleanTech & Utilities Conference.

“We’re going to market the crude coming out of Venezuela, first this backed-up stored oil, and then indefinitely, going forward, we will sell the production that comes out of Venezuela into the marketplace,” he noted.

Wright added that the proceeds from the oil sales will go into “accounts controlled by the U.S. government” before supposedly flowing back to benefit the Venezuelan people.

Some of the cash is already on its way to the U.S. Trump announced Tuesday night that Wright would oversee the sale of some 50 million barrels of sanctioned Venezuelan oil, a sale that could be worth as much as $2.5 billion.

U.S. forces invaded Venezuela early Saturday, bombing its capital, Caracas, as nearly 200 American troops infiltrated the city to capture its 13-year ruler, Nicolás Maduro.

Donald Trump failed to notify Congress before the invasion but didn’t forget to tip off his friends at America’s biggest oil companies, which stand to gain the most from America’s newfound control over Venezuela’s oil supply—the largest in the world.

The invasion followed months of naval attacks and escalating rhetoric between the White House and Venezuela’s leadership, which saw the Trump administration repeatedly pin U.S. fentanyl deaths on Venezuelan drug cartels despite a resounding lack of evidence.

Venezuela nationalized its oil supply in 1976 but tightened its grip on the valuable resource during the 2000s under President Hugo Chávez, when the country stripped control and seized assets from several major oil companies, including ExxonMobil.

But a Trump-controlled Venezuela is not likely to be as hostile. Instead, Wright revealed Wednesday that he had already been in discussions with U.S. oil companies about their potential return to the Latin American nation. He emphasized, however, that returning Venezuela to pre-Chávez oil production levels would require “tens of millions of dollars and significant time.”

This story has been updated.

A federal judge is demanding to know why Lindsey Halligan still thinks she’s U.S. attorney.

U.S. District Judge David Novak of Richmond—who was appointed by Donald Trump in 2019—filed an order late Tuesday, giving Halligan seven days to explain why she is lying about overseeing the legal matters of the Eastern District of Virginia.

“For these reasons, the Court hereby DIRECTS Ms. Halligan to file, within seven (7) days of the issuance of this Order, a pleading explaining the basis for Ms. Halligan’s identification of herself as the United States Attorney, notwithstanding [U.S. District Judge Cameron McGowan] Currie’s contrary ruling,” Novak wrote, referring to Currie’s November ruling that found that the Justice Department had violated the Constitution by appointing Halligan.

“She shall also set forth the reasons why this Court should not strike Ms. Halligan’s identification of herself as United States Attorney from the indictment in this matter,” Novak continued. “Ms. Halligan shall further explain why her identification does not constitute a false or misleading statement.”

Trump handpicked Halligan—a former White House aide with no prior prosecutorial experience—to replace the last attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia, Erik Siebert. Siebert was forced out when he refused to prosecute former FBI Director James Comey and New York Attorney General Letitia James after he couldn’t find incriminating evidence against the pair.

Halligan was sworn into the powerful position in September. Ignoring protocol, the Trump loyalist moved full steam ahead on prosecutions under the banner of Trump’s approval for months, despite the fact that she was never confirmed by the Senate.

But Currie’s decision didn’t seem to matter one iota to Justice Department officials, who continued to sign Halligan’s name on criminal indictments even after she ruled that Halligan was unlawfully appointed as interim U.S. attorney.

In his own order, Novak suggested that Halligan could face disciplinary consequences for blatantly ignoring the law.