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Trump Loses It Like Never Before in Wildly Incoherent Press Conference

It was nearly impossible to make out what Trump was saying in this press conference about his guilty verdict.

David Dee Delgado/Getty Images

At a press conference Friday, Donald Trump ranted and raved about his displeasure at being found guilty of 34 felony charges in his hush-money trial.

Standing in front of a line of flags at Trump Tower in New York, Trump took aim at Michael Cohen, Judge Juan Merchan, Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg, Democrats, and just about anyone who he thinks wronged him, violating his gag order in the process. But his biggest target might have been the English language.

At times, his words were hard to follow, as the first convicted felon former president went off on tangents with sentences with no clear end.

In one bizarre sentence, he demonstrated a profound misunderstanding of the word “literally” by claiming witnesses “for our side” were “literally crucified by this man who looks like an angel, but he’s really a devil,” referring to Merchan.

This could very well be another sign of cognitive decline from the Republican presidential nominee, exacerbated by possibly the worst news he’s ever received. Last week, at a Bronx rally, he bragged about being able to put on his pants, and two weeks ago, he seemed to freeze while speaking at the NRA’s annual convention. His rant on Friday included an attack on immigrants who speak incomprehensible languages, a nod to similar bizarre remarks he made at the southern U.S. border in February.

If Trump hadn’t also explained why he didn’t testify at this trial, anyone watching his remarks would have realized why themselves.

Spineless Trump Admits Why He Was Too Afraid to Testify

Donald Trump chose not to testify in his hush-money trial—and he’s finally confessing why.

Donald Trump stands in front of U.S. flags speaking before a mic, hands splayed out
Yuki Iwamura/Bloomberg/Getty Images

Donald Trump claims he wanted to testify in his hush-money trial—but he was afraid he’d be found guilty of more crimes. Trump’s statements came during a meandering, often incoherent tirade in front of the press at Trump Tower on Friday, the day after he was convicted of 34 felonies by a Manhattan jury.

“I would have testified. I wanted to testify,” he said one day after his first criminal trial came to a close.

“The judge allowed them to go into everything I was ever involved in–not this case–everything I was ever involved in, which is a first. In other words, you could go into every single thing that I ever did [and ask], ‘Was he a bad boy here? Was he a bad boy there?’” he continued, seeming to imply that if the prosecution really dug into his past they would have found more crimes.

But you would have been, you would have said something out of whack, like, ‘It was a beautiful sunny day,’ and it was actually raining out,” Trump continued, providing a false example of perjury, before seemingly word-associating to talk about the pro-Trump gathering outside Manhattan Criminal Court.

Trump opened his presser with claims that witnesses for Trump’s defense were “literally crucified” by Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg, who Trump described as looking “so nice and soft” and that he “looks like an angel, but he’s really a devil” before moving on to his boilerplate racist rant about migrants.

During the trial, Trump falsely claimed he was prohibited from testifying as a result of a gag order restricting his public statements after he incited harassment against judge Juan Merchan and Merchan’s daughter. Trump allies opposed him testifying, voicing concerns about his tendency to ramble.

Felon Trump Drives Up Jail Time Odds With Every Word

The former president’s gag order is still in place—and he just violated it.

Donald Trump speaks into a microphone
Spencer Platt/Getty Images

The day after Donald Trump became the first former president to be convicted of a felony, he rushed to Trump Tower to hold a press conference proclaiming his innocence. But in doing so, he also immediately violated his gag order.

In a 30-minute speech on Friday, Trump slammed his former fixer Michael Cohen as slimy and untrustworthy.

“Again, if I wrote down and paid a lawyer—and by the way, this was a highly qualified lawyer. Now, I’m not allowed to use his name because of the gag order,” Trump said. “But, you know, he’s a sleazebag.”

“Everybody knows that,” he continued. “Took me a while to find out, but he was effective. He did work.”

Trump’s gag order—which has not yet been lifted—bars him from publicly attacking the court staff, witnesses, or jurors involved in the case. And he’s already been hit with repercussions for previous transgressions. Earlier this month, Judge Juan Merchan ruled that Trump would have to pay $10,000—the maximum penalty of $1,000 per violation—for continually breaking the order.

But that ruling came with an added threat that is still on the table. Since the court could not craft an “appropriate” financial penalty for a deep-pocketed defendant like Trump, Merchan wrote that, in order to “protect the dignity of the judicial system and to compel respect for its mandates,” the court “must therefore consider whether in some instances, jail may be a necessary punishment.”

Trump is due to be sentenced on July 11, just days before the Republican National Convention. And his words could come back to haunt him in that hearing: In criminal cases, judges often consider a defendant’s level of remorse (or lack thereof) when deciding a sentence.

Meanwhile, Cohen responded Friday in real time, posting on X that “Trump’s press conference was nothing shy of a batshit crazy avalanche of broken brain word manure,” while tagging his nickname for his former boss: “#VonShitzInPantz.”

Manchin Finally Leaves Democratic Party, Reveals Who He Was All Along

After a long career in screwing over Democrats, Joe Manchin has left the party at last.

Samuel Corum/Getty Images

Senator Joe Manchin is leaving the Democratic Party and registering as an independent.

Politico reports that the West Virginia politician and thorn in the side of liberal priorities has made the decision to leave, citing sources close to Manchin. Shortly after, on Friday morning, Manchin confirmed the move.

Twitter Screenshot Joe Manchin

Manchin had previously announced that he would not run for reelection for his Senate seat. His change in party affiliation now means he can run as an independent for the Senate, or even for governor of West Virginia, where he’d take on Republican rival Jim Justice. He has not announced plans to do either yet. Right now, the move makes him the fourth independent in the Democratic Caucus.

It’s the latest move from Manchin in a long career of taking shots at the Democratic Party. At one time, he was a critical part of the Democrats’ majority in the Senate, which he used to his advantage. He regularly sided with Republicans on critical issues such as student loan relief and climate change. He worked to keep the Senate filibuster, despite Democratic objections, with the help of fellow Democratic (and also now independent) Senator Kyrsten Sinema. He refused to back President Biden’s Build Back Better bill, resulting in the watered-down Inflation Reduction Act. He even killed the expanded Child Tax Credit.

So what’s the reason behind this move now? Manchin already toyed with a third-party run for president before backing out. Is Manchin going to stay in politics after all, staying in the Senate or looking at the governorship? Either way, it will be, in his mind, the best decision for himself.

How Trump’s Guilty Verdict Is Literally Tanking His Value

He’s running out of scams to shill.

Justin Lane/Pool/Getty Images

Donald Trump and his fans are losing big on the crypto marketplace following his guilty verdict, despite his bragging just days earlier that he was confident in cryptocurrency.

As news of the verdict broke Thursday, the TRUMP token fell 35 percent, while a memecoin for President Joe Biden called “Jeo Boden” grew 20 percent.

Trump may have personally lost money last night too. According to blockchain data tracked by Arkham Intelligence, the former president reportedly holds assets worth approximately $10 million, with sizable amounts of MAGA tokens, ethereum (ETH), and MAGA VP tokens.

Alongside these memetokens, Trump has launched three NFT collections since December 2022, including the “Mugshot Edition NFTs.” But as the hush-money trial began in late April, the first edition of the Trump Digital Trading Card’s trading volumes fell 99 percent in 30 days.

Trump has bet heavily on a cryptocurrency payoff. Earlier this month, he spent one of his few days off the trial courting NFT buyers at a dinner in Mar-a-lago. Shortly after, he vowed to “build a crypto army.” And on Thursday, just hours before the verdict, Bloomberg reported that Trump was discussing crypto policy with Elon Musk.

While Musk denied specifically talking about crypto, it does appear that the Trump campaign is looking for an advisory role for Elon if he wins a second term.

Meanwhile, Trump and his allies are losing on standard markets too, with Truth Social stocks plummeting as much as 15 percent on Thursday.

Despite Trump’s myriad monetary failures, crypto traders at Polymarket, the blockchain-powered betting site, are still banking on Trump defeating Biden—putting his odds of winning at 54 percent—even after the conviction. Traders are also placing $900,000 wagers on whether Trump will see the inside of a jail cell by November, with some saying he has a 17 percent chance of imprisonment.

Ultimately, let’s hope the only blocks and chains Trump is involved with in the next year are in a cell block.