Motion to Dump McCarthy Found in Most Appropriate Room Possible

It looks like there’s a leak in the House of Representatives bathroom.

Reporter Matt Laslo on Tuesday found a document for a motion to vacate the speaker of the House. The resolution appears to come from Representative Matt Gaetz’s office and was found on a baby changing table. Gaetz has not confirmed whether the document is legitimate. The New Republic contacted his office for comment but had not heard back at time of publication.

The fact that the paper was found in the bathroom is oddly reminiscent of Donald Trump, who stored classified documents in the bathroom at his Mar-a-Lago resort. Gaetz is a vocal Trump ally.

If the resolution is legitimate, then it could signal the start of a messy and protracted fight in the House—and the Republican Party—that could end in a government shutdown.

The House returned from recess last week, and one of the first orders of business is passing an appropriations bill. Some of the farthest-right representatives, including Gaetz, are threatening to block the bill and risk shutting down the government unless their demands to drastically cut spending are met.

Gaetz has repeatedly threatened to introduce a motion to vacate, even begging Democrats to side with him. McCarthy reportedly finally snapped at Gaetz last week, telling him in a closed-door party meeting to put up or shut up.

“If you think you scare me because you want to file a motion to vacate, move the fucking motion,” McCarthy said, according to Politico reporter Olivia Beavers. 

The motion would strip McCarthy of the speaker’s role and force a vote for his replacement. Considering it took 15 rounds of voting before McCarthy won the gavel in January, choosing his replacement would be no easy feat.

Gaetz was one of the last holdouts during the interminable rounds of votes for House speaker in January. Gaetz finally switched his vote to “present,” handing the gavel to McCarthy, but he has remained staunchly anti-McCarthy ever since.

Ever since Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer announced his decision to loosen the chamber’s dress code, Republicans have been losing their mind. But Senator Susan Collins’s response may top the rest.

“I plan to wear a bikini tomorrow to the Senate floor,” Collins joked to reporters on Monday.

Schumer quietly released a notice earlier this week announcing that senators could wear whatever they want on the floor starting Monday.

The decision comes as Senate conservatives had ridiculed Senator John Fetterman’s iconic hoodie and shorts look. Although there truly is no set Senate dress code, it was previously expected that members wear business attire.

Of course, that doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone. Ted Cruz has shown up to the Senate floor in gym clothes, and Kyrsten Sinema has led a long streak of wearing bright outfits and wigs in the chamber.

While Collins clarified that she was only joking about wearing a bikini to work, she believes that getting rid of the Senate’s informal dress code “debases the institution.”

As Republicans push the government closer toward shutdown, they apparently think the Senate’s dress code is a serious matter of integrity.

Former Republican Representative Adam Kinzinger has no plans to vote for Donald Trump in 2024. In fact, even if Trump is not the nominee, he might not even vote Republican.

“He would only vote for Donald Trump if the opponent is actual Satan,” a spokesperson for Kinzinger told The New Republic.

Kinzinger is one of the few Republicans who pushed back on Trump’s lie that the 2020 election was stolen. He and former Representative Liz Cheney were the only two Republicans to serve on the House January 6 investigative committee, and Kinzinger remains an outspoken Trump opponent.

Kinzinger gave a speech at Occidental College two weeks ago about the importance of protecting democracy. During his talk, Kinzinger said that he will “probably” vote Democratic in the presidential election next year.

The Republican Party turned on Kinzinger after he pushed back on Trump. Kinzinger and Cheney were censured by their party and voted out of the House Freedom Caucus. Cheney eventually lost her primary race in the 2022 midterms, while Kinzinger opted not to run again.

Kinzinger was one of the few Republicans to vote to impeach Trump for the January 6 riot. After leaving office, he said his “biggest regret” was voting against impeaching Trump the first time.

Online conspiracy theorists are convinced that Senator John Fetterman has been replaced with a body double.

One factor fueling this bizarre belief is that Fetterman has made major strides since suffering a stroke in spring 2022. He continued to campaign, even though many Republicans accused him of being unfit to serve. His progress is now being weaponized against him.

In addition to his improved speech abilities, many conspiracists cite photos that they claim shows Fetterman’s distinctive forearm tattoos have disappeared. It probably has nothing to do with the fact that the before and after photos show completely different angles of Fetterman’s arms.

Obviously, there is no proof that Fetterman has been replaced. As one online jokester pointed out, the senator’s sheer size alone is enough to make it extremely difficult to find a convincing body double.

Fetterman has responded to the conspiracy in his classic sarcastic fashion. If anything, his tweets should prove he’s still the same man. Fetterman’s social media presence continues to be (as the kids say) hot fire.

Replacing public figures with body doubles is a popular theory among QAnon followers. The QAnon conspiracy theory says that the global elite are committing pedophilia and satanic rituals and the only person who can stop them is Donald Trump. Many followers believe that powerful people such as Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton have already been executed and replaced with body doubles.

If that is the case, then it would seem that not even Trump’s inner circle is safe. Throughout both of Trump’s campaigns and his entire time at the White House, conspiracy theorists insisted that his wife, Melania, had also been replaced with a body double. (Although in her case, it was because people suspected she had chosen to have a body double because she didn’t want to be around her husband.)

Representative Lauren Boebert says she’s “back to work” after the nightmare date seen around the country. But her latest comments have raised more questions than they answered.

“All future date nights have been canceled, and I learned to check party affiliations before you go on a date,” Boebert jokingly told TMZ on Monday.

Boebert and a date were kicked out of the Buell Theatre in Denver during a Sunday evening performance of Beetlejuice after their behavior sparked three complaints from other attendees. An incident report said the pair were vaping, singing along, recording the show, and generally “causing a disturbance.” This was backed up by security video, which also showed the couple getting handsy in their seats.

Boebert’s comment about checking party affiliation seems to imply that she had not known the man for very long—and TMZ inferred that the night in question was Boebert’s first date with him. The man has been identified as Aspen, Colorado, bar owner Quinn Gallagher. Gallagher is believed to be a Democrat, and the bar he co-owns has hosted multiple LGBTQ-friendly events, including a drag show. Boebert, meanwhile, has repeatedly pushed the false and dangerous Republican conspiracy theory that drag queens are grooming children.

If all of this is true, then we have some questions.

1. This was their first date? They seemed very comfortable with each other.
2. Does Boebert vape near (and then tell off) pregnant women on all of her first dates?
3. How did their politics not come up beforehand?
4. If Gallagher’s a Democrat, why would he go on a date with Boebert?
5. And why would she go on a date with him?